What is Your Upper Limit?


When I first started leading Joy groups and Joy Workshops in my Holistic Psychotherapy practice many years ago I noticed there seemed to be an upper limit that people had as to how much Joy they allowed themselves to feel in their lives.   My clients would reach very high levels of Joy and then things would start happening that would bring them back to their original emotional state, their “Joy Set-Point”.

Things like:

  • They would get sick
  • Their car would break down
  • They would have a fight with someone close to them
  • Something would go wrong in their home ex. basement flooding, tree falling in their yard
  • Getting an unexpected bill

Anything that would jar them from their very high level of Joy to their usual emotional state.  This was fascinating to me and then I began to learn that this was happening because they had gone beyond their Joy set point.

Their Joy Set Point was usually the level of Joy that they experienced in their household growing up.  Let’s say on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest state of Joy) the Joy level in their house tended to hover around a 5.  Now when they get up to a 9 or 10, this is brand new territory for them and they don’t know quite how to navigate this level of Joy.  Even though it is amazing to feel so Joyful, at the same time it is uncomfortable and the unknown for them.  They would then unconsciously manifest things to bring them to their regular Joy Set Point.

In my work with clients I began to help them notice this and make a conscious decision to actually get comfortable with this higher level of Joy until it became the “New Normal” in their life.  They would bring this consciousness and awareness to what was happening and would “practice” being at this higher Joyful state.   It would then begin to feel much more comfortable for them and they could sustain it for longer periods of time.  It was like getting energetically acclimated to this higher vibrational state.

I went on to realize that these Set-Points don’t exist just for Joy levels, they exist for every area of your life:

You have Set-Points for:

  • The growth of your Holistic Business
  • How much you can charge for your Services
  • How much money you can make in a year
  • How much money you can make at one time
  • How much Love and Intimacy you can experience with your partner and in your Life
  • How healthy you allow your body to be

Now in my work Coaching Therapists, Healers, Coaches and Health Practitioners to create the Holistic Business of their dreams, I help them bust through ALL of their Set-Points for every area of their life.  You see when you are growing your Holistic Business you are really growing your capacity to experience amazing things in your life.  You are growing your capacity to express your gifts, to receive more abundance, to experience more Joy, to expand your capacity to Love and be Loved.  You are becoming the fullest expression of your Divine Spirit, playing full out in EVERY area of your Life.

I would love to hear what you have identified as your Set-Points in your Life?

5 Responses to What is Your Upper Limit?
  1. Dawn Menard
    September 20, 2013 | 5:00 pm

    Hi Shelley – just had to comment on the JOY “set-point” point! Yes – just experienced that myself – after at very joyful day yesterday, picked a fight, complained that my car is running poorly, and started sneezing! Set-point Rebound ™ I call it with my clients when we talk about MONEY set-points – as you note it occurs in ALL areas of our lives. Thanks for the pointer to look at all the areas in our life – JOY as well as biz areas! big hug, Dawn

  2. Tina Games
    September 20, 2013 | 5:30 pm

    I love this week’s article! ~ You might find it interesting that I slipped down the stairs in my home this week and badly bruised my left foot. ~ But that didn’t keep me down!

    I went on to attend two big meetings AND a conference. I may have hobbled around, but I was there – and fully present!

    I was also aware at how much I speed through life (I walk at a fairly fast pace). So slowing down really shifted my perspective. I noticed things I may not have otherwise noticed.

    Everything is a gift IF we choose to see it that way. 🙂

  3. Lynn
    May 23, 2016 | 1:16 pm

    I recently retired from a stressful & difficult job. For about 2 1/2 weeks I was joy filled about the decision and the end of the stress & problems of the job. Then last Friday night for no reason that I can identify I got really sad & started remembering all the problems & difficulties. I have been in a funk ever since. I really want to end this cycle in my life. Life when I was growing up was seldom happy (about a 3) so I have work to do & am ready to do it.

  4. Kristin
    May 25, 2016 | 2:18 pm

    I love this topic right now! thank you Shelley 🙂

  5. Trish
    May 28, 2016 | 8:30 pm

    Love this article- I actually felt this coming on, the anticipation that I would slide back to my set point after an amazing ( & actually affordable) live in workshop weekend at a stunning house in Byron Bay a stones throw from the beach with a fabulous group of people. Clients had also picked up recently & I’d book sale flights on the best airline for a business trip next week, I was feeling very blessed when during the week I realised I’d reversed the legs on my trip (never happened before) & caused a cancellation & re-booking blow out on last minute, new flights. But I chose for a change to not criticize myself and instead be thankful that I could get comparable flights on another good airline and had the money to pay for them so wouldn’t really disrupt my work schedule at all. I chose to stay in the bliss and push my joy set point up even if the face of potentially intense self derision!!

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